Day 365 (January 26th, 2019)
One year and one day ago, I had my last seizure. I have officially been seizure-free for one whole year. And the best part is that I’m not scared anymore. I know I can make a difference, and I know I can do anything I want to without this massive barrier in my way.
Now, I’m not going to lie: it was a battle. It was hard, but after getting the massive wall down, I will win the war.
I can’t believe this is real. Still no seizures. I can finally make my way to success. In work I have been promoted and trained in multiple fields. I am a cashier at Walmart. I was recognized as "Associate of the Month" today for helping customers the way I do. I now have been moved up to Customer Service, I have been trained in Self Check Out, and I am determined to be moved up to a CSM, or Customer Service Manager. Now that’s a hard field, but I will make it there. They get roughly 10 miles worth of steps in every day. I did that once on an insanely busy day, and I’m not going to lie: that hurt. But I will keep doing it and make my way to where walking that much is manageable. I couldn’t even walk a mile before.
I went on a trip a few months after the surgery and had a hard time walking. It was depressing, and I became determined to make a difference in my life. My goal was to walk a mile without breathing heavily within 5 months. I walked every day that I didn’t work. I would walk a little bit more every time. I set some basic goals for myself. “Go to that next tree.” “Go to the next sign.” “Go to Chipotle.” I made it there and got to eat out, on my own, for the first time. “Go downtown. Now go to Chipotle and downtown.” I managed to make it to 6 miles within that time frame, and I will keep going. The step count at work is easy for me now. I don’t have to come home with my feet killing me to the point where I can’t even comfortably make it to the bedroom. It’s wonderful, and I will keep on going. That is only one thing I have pushed myself to do without fear. It also helps that I have changed my diet to help give me the energy to do the things I want to do. It’s crazy how big of an effect your diet has on you every single day. It’s a lifelong change that I will do forever.
I can also pick up on learning new things faster. With the different positions in work come different situations to learn. I love to learn. So I always ask questions. It comes in handy. I also pick up on new signs that I may not have learned and ask my Deaf friends about it. I have been able to pick up some new hobbies and finally stop being scared of screwing it up or eating something that I am working with. I make jewelry and drill dice to do it, even started selling it online. DiceyDesigner on Etsy if you want to see my work. Nothing like starting a small business of my own! It’s nice to be able to relax while doing laundry and know (well, 95% know) that I won’t suffocate from falling face first into the basket (the daughter of my mom’s friend did that.) While I still don’t care to cook, I’m at least happy that I don’t have to fear burning myself from having a seizure and trying to grab the pot or sticking my hand on the hot stove.
I got my first tattoo ever, and now I’m hooked. I already got another one, and I have one more planned out. I went in, and one of the questions they ask is if you are epileptic. That is a completely understandable reason to deny someone service for that. If they were to have a seizure while getting a tattoo, horrible things could happen. That is a safety risk for the workers just as much as it is for the customers. When I went in for the first time ever, I saw that on the paperwork. I went and spoke with the manager and explained my situation. She was so understanding and believed things would be ok. She said, “Yeah, as long as you truly feel like you won’t have a seizure and have been seizure free for awhile, let’s go for it.” I got my first one done, and I will always go there for the love and support they were willing to give me. I left a very generous tip, and I won’t go anywhere else. The tattoo is a 3-eyed cat with dots around it. It’s a new look on life, and the amount of dots is how many times I got poked with a needle for the surgery itself. This one reminds me every day that I can make it through the pain, I can push myself, I can see the world however I want to see it, and I can make the best out of any situation.
I dyed my hair for the first time ever! My hair is a huge part of me. I am very uncomfortable with my appearance. One of the two things I have been proud of is my hair. I loved my color and how thick it is. I was scared that if I change my color it will ruin my hair. But after the surgery I learned that it will grow back. But who needs it, too? I never got it cut any shorter than my shoulders. Now, I get my head shaved regularly, where the scar is, to show my battle wounds from the surgery. That is part of me. I’m proud of that.
Now, the craziest thing is that I never thought I would do any of this. I thought I would be stuck at home, scared of dieing everyday, nervous that I would screw something up or hurt someone and not even realize it. I thought I couldn’t succeed, but look at me now!
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| One Year Later (I get my hair cut regularly) |
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| One Year |
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| One Year |
