Day 730 (January 26th, 2020)
Two years ago I was terrified and lacked confidence. Today, I know I have more strength than I ever had. Before this surgery I had a phobia I never knew of. I was scared of myself. Growing up with a phobia can make it hard to realize it's there. You learn to live your life around it. I had a phobia of my seizures. No matter what it was, seeing a movie, going to a haunted house, walking alone, going to a job interview, sitting in class, riding in the car at night, I was scared of having a seizure. When I would have a seizure I would bite my tongue violently, claw at my own hands, and try to eat whatever I could get my hands on. Yes, even the non-food items. There were triggers that set the seizures off, flashing lights, over stress, lack of sleep, stressing my body at all. It drove me insane. I was too scared to walk out of my home without someone there. That's what I dealt with for 28 years. Today, I do what I want, when I want, however I want. I get to be independent and reliable for others. I have become more active. I can drive, never thought I'd be able to do that. I work 3 jobs. One of them is me owning and running my own business. I can push myself in ways I never thought I could. I love being busy now and dealing with the stress from that is like nothing to me. I love it. This surgery has changed my life for the good. I am free. I am seizure free.